It’s getting hot in here ! Sweating Change.

During the past Month or two Sri Lankans experienced what was probably some of the hottest days in our lifetimes.  Of course, this cannot be totally accounted for effects of global warming caused as an effect of Climate Change. The Meteorological Department issuing a statement explained that the sun has been rotating very close to the island nation and its rays are hanging directly over us. The change of weather patterns and climatic conditions are of course natural: over millions of years the earth’s climate has fluctuated from ice ages to much warmer periods. But what is not natural is that in the last century, the planets temperature has risen unusually fast.  (Earth's mean surface temperature has increased by about 0.8 °C, with about two-thirds of the increase occurring since 1980.) But the reality is that you don’t need statistics to prove the climate is changing. Within our lifetime, the temperature levels have seen a noticeable increase. Scientists have reasoned that it is human activity that is causing these changes: carbon emissions caused by burning of fossil fuels for industrialization, increasing travel and energy consumption intensified by deforestation etc.. Researchers predict that temperatures will increase 2 to 10 degrees Celsius by the end of the century. 

1998 was the warmest year in recorded history with 2005 coming in second. These almost punishing weather events makes one feel like, not without reason, Mother Nature is seeking vengeance for the global failure to reduce greenhouse gas emissions. The heat is causing arctic sea ice to melt causing sea levels to rise, flooding coastal areas. Weather patterns could change: making disasters such as droughts and hurricanes more frequent. More children are getting asthma and allergies, people are losing jobs. Species unable to adapt to changing conditions would face extinction.  Global warming could do more than just melt polar ice. It could change our maps, and displace people from cities and tropical islands.

Without rain farmers are unable to continue their cultivations. Last year, in Sri Lanka’s South Eastern regions over six months of drought were followed by unending incessant rains that kept falling for over three months that destroyed crops. With no harvest, livelihoods of farmers are directly affected, furthermore, this leads to abject food insecurity: this causes food prices to go up, and the cost of living to further increase: the cycle of stark poverty continues.  Droughts have also extended power cuts in different parts of the island.

Simple things count. Turning lights off. Switching to CFL, travelling less, cycling whenever possible etc.. But it is also important for the Government to campaign for Climate Change policy in International fora. After all, unlike in most Human Rights issues where the general attitude is that it is ‘white man’s burden’ to preach human rights values etc… In the case of climate change the ball is in the hands of the developed and the industrialized world to commit. When one fifth of the world population causes almost 62% of all global carbon emissions, it is only fair that the rest of the world demands for Common but Differentiated Responsibility, commonly referred to as CBDR (the direct responsibility of developed countries in global climate change as well as the ‘special needs and special circumstances of developing countries’).

This isn't a science-fiction, end-of-the-world phenomenon, Climate Change has impacted how and where we live, work and play. But governments around the world continue to emit greenhouse gases, and are still reluctant to commit themselves to reduce these emissions. It is high time the government of Sri Lanka became an advocate for green growth internationally. The first step of course, is leading by example ! 

20 One Shot Facts

 Let’s face it: One Shot is the epitome of all things badass. He radiates badass in everything he does.

Here are 20 One Shot Facts (tweaked off Chuck Norris Facts). 

1)      One Shot and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

2)      There used to be a street named after One Shot, but it was changed because nobody crosses One Shot and lives.

3)      When the Wright Brothers made their first flight in 1903, One Shot flew to Kitty Hawk in his jet plane to congratulate them.

4)      When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from One Shot

5)      One Shot doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

6)      One Shot died 20 years ago. Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

7)      One Shot has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

8)      One Shot can cut through a hot knife with butter

9)      One Shot doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the shit out of it

10)   Death once had a near-One Shot experience

11)   One Shot once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.

12)   There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals One Shot allows to live.

13)   When One Shot does a push-up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

14)   One Shot made a Happy Meal cry.

15)  One Shot can unscramble an egg.

16)   One Shot can strangle you with a cordless phone.

17)   One Shot can hear sign language.

18)   One Shot knows Nature’s secrets.

19)   One Shot makes onions cry.

20)   One Shot kicked the world once, it hasn't stopped spinning.

 Note: these are tweaks of Chuck Norris Facts. We did NOT come up with them.

On Rape, Short Skirts and Patriarchy: Are Women Wearing Short Dresses ‘asking for it’?

A tweak of this story was originally published on the Nation Newspaper: http://goo.gl/qKpMK

because I wore a skirt.                                                                                                         photo-credits: Christi Nielsen

Colombo: What do miniskirts, booty shorts and low rise jeans have in common with rape? With the uproar that arose in India and the region, following the Delhi Gang Rape, which drew the kind of attention that issues of rape and sexual violence do not generally receive in this part of the world; also gave rise to a classic victim-blaming style counter-movement that propounded that women, by way of dressing in a certain way, or staying out past a certain time at night etc.. incite the sexual violence brought upon them. I took to the streets in Colombo on a sunny Friday afternoon to ask the passers by what they felt.

`Thennakoon (39) is a security guard at a state-run corporation adjacent to the Independence Square in Colombo. He agrees that it’s easier being a man in this society than otherwise, but doesn’t understand why women choose to wear revealing and ‘provocative’ dresses. ‘I would understand if there was a shortage of fabric. But there is no such shortage. A woman should know how to dress in a decent manner. Yesterday there was an event at this office and some women were wearing disgusting clothes. Men have feelings too. So, women need to take necessary precautions.’ 

We thanked Thennakoon and walked along the path leading to Independence Square when we met Soorya (short for Sooryalakshmi) she was 47 but the wrinkles on her face made her seem at least 60. She worked for the Colombo Municipal Council cleaning staff. Soorya thinks it’s much difficult being a woman in today’s world. ‘We have to work in the kitchen, do the washing and cleaning and also find money for the family’. But she added that women should ensure their own security, to this end, she said, women should not dress in a way that might provoke a man.  

Walking along the lawn at independence square we met Dharshana, Pradeep and Ranjan. They were seated on the grass in a circle and were going through some notes. The trio were 3^rd year students of the Faculty of Science at the University of Colombo. Ranjan explained that they were preparing for a presentation scheduled for later that afternoon. Apologizing for intruding, we posed our question to them. They all felt that even though certain instances of abuse exist, the situation of women in general has vastly improved. ‘Today in a lot of fields women are competing with men in an equal footing’ said Pradeep. Dharshana felt that wearing short dresses has made some men feel ‘those women are like prostitutes’. He added that Sri Lanka is a country with a proud history and culture and our women should dress accordingly.  Pradeep nodded in approval. Ranjan, however, seemed to differ, he said ‘fashion evolves with time and women should be given the same freedoms as men. Whatever the way women choose to dress maybe, men should control their emotions.’ Dharshana, Pradeep and Ranjan stay in the same hostel and take the same classes in university, but the way Ranjan looked at the issue was different to his friends’ views.  

Walking along Independence Avenue, we met Mr. Priyantha, hurriedly walking from one office building to another with a large stack of files with the state emblem. He worked at a government department located along the road. He felt that women today have a much better place in society than men. ‘Even in our department, women have a much better place than men. Sometimes women get jobs simply because they are women.’ When we questioned him as to why then issues such as sexual harassment of women still exist in our society he said ‘it’s all the woman’s fault. They wear short dresses and arouse men’s feelings. Be honest, son, when a good looking girl is wearing short stuff like that wouldn’t you will feel like turning to take a second look?’ We told him, that doesn’t mean we can rape someone. But he went on ‘my mother didn’t even put her washed clothes out in the garden to dry up. That’s how women those days were’. There was a slight sense of condescension in his voice as he concluding by saying ‘but women these days are too much.’

Sujith (43) is a trishaw driver. You’d see his red and brown Bajaj parked adjacent to a popular night club in Colombo city. Sujith finds it appalling that sexual abuse still takes place in our society. He thinks that rape is unacceptable and that skirts are not the problem. He believes that ‘as times are changing new fashions come up and kids like to keep up with these trends’. He sees nothing wrong with this. In fact he believes that is short skirts are banned, rape ‘cases’ may even increase as men who get some kind of pleasure by seeing women in these dresses may get even more deprived and frustrated! Impressed by the ‘tuk tuk wisdom’ Sujith enlightened us with; we thanked him and walked towards the University of Colombo. 

Chathuni, an undergraduate following double degrees in Economics and Law thinks ‘that short or otherwise, revealing clothes invite rape is neither fair by men nor women. It makes men appear incapable or controlling themselves and recognizing that there is more to a woman than appearance. And upon women it places both the burden of guarding against harassment and that failing, of being society’s derision.’ She ended with this question ‘if rape is wrong, why is the rape of a woman in a short skirt less tragic than one in saree.’ With that, my friend Kumudithe and I ended our interviews for the day with the scorching Colombo sun right above our heads. 

That evening, at a Youth Parliament meeting, I met Stephanie Siriwardena who won the Miss Sri Lanka contest in 2011. Stephanie, who is also quite an activist, thinks ‘we are asking the wrong question. We tend to focus on the shortness of the dress rather than focus on the shallowness of intention in men perpetrating these crimes.’ I also spoke to Shahidar (23). Shahidaar who is also a very passionate activist, has been a hijabi most of her life. She said ‘each man is responsible for his or her own behaviour. Although I think a short skirt will desensitise a man’s reaction towards a woman, her rights cannot be violated. A short skirt is not an excuse to satisfy carnal desires. In Islam, a man’s hijab is to lower his glance and to avoid looking at the opposite sex deliberately. ’

The stereotypical sequences of events that lead to rape are often the same. A woman is walking down a dark alley, by herself, in a short dress. But facts show, that often the situation is much more complex: more often than not, perpetrators are not strangers but people very close to the victim. Rape sometimes occurs in broad daylight and often victims are not supposedly ‘attractive’ women clad in ‘provoking’ clothes. We’ve seen and heard of instances when the victims were older women: sometimes grandmothers in their late 70s and 80s, and sometimes prepubescent children as young as five or six. These old women and kids have clearly not worn ‘provocative’ dresses.

 But that is all beside the point. Drunk, alone at night or wearing a short skirt: rape is never the victim’s fault. City planning is not only about fancy jogging tracks and upmarket restaurants; it’s also about making our cities safer for our women and girls. Perhaps the greatest need of the day is a change of attitudes about how we look at these issues. The condescension in Priyantha’s voice when he said ‘women these days are too much’, how Darshana feels like men view women is short dresses as ‘prostitutes’; these people have been socialized into holding these opinions. It is the responsibility of the state and civil society to catalyse a change of mind-sets so as to look at the real issues without blaming innocents.

What Sri Lankan tweeps say:

Some names have been changed.

senel.wanniarachchi@gmail.com

Twitter: Senel_W

waiting for the Bodhisattva.

As the Sun sets in Colombo, an older couple (evidently Muslim) looks on, at a Buddhist flag clad Independence Square.  
What’s independence/freedom if all can’t enjoy it?

                     Buddhist cosmology foretells the prophecy that the teachings of Siddhārtha Gautama, the Buddha, will last some five thousand years. Thereupon, the Buddha Śāsana will go into extinction. Miserliness, hatred and callousness will be the order of the day. Famine, disease and warfare will proliferate until the world as we know it, personifies a diabolical battlefield. This would call for the birth of the Maitreya Buddha who will hitherto be at the Tusitha Heaven. The Bodhisattva will descend from the heavens to go in pursuit of enlightenment and edify the world with his teachings.

Buddhism is dying premature a death.

Preachers preach hate making a blasphemous perversion of the words of the Dhamma.

Sri Lanka as evolved through over 300 years of Colonization: first by the Portuguese, then the Dutch, followed by the British. The colonial powers grabbed land belonging to locals, developed plantations in the central highlands of the island, enslaved the local populace and plundered resources for the dawn of the Industrial Revolution. After fighting the common enemy of the Colonial British, began the fights among ourselves: the LTTE declared war on the Sri Lankan state. For thirty years we grew up with the fear of war, fearing suicide attacks and claymore bombs.

Thirty years.

 After decades of bloodshed, the war saw its end in 2009. Now Sri Lanka is slowly seeing glimpses of development. The people of Sri Lanka yearn for peace and after all these years they surely deserve it.

But as the word goes the moment you find a glimmer of happiness in this world, there's always someone who wants to destroy it. The saffron robed demons are preaching hate and inciting violence, turning communities that lived together for centuries against each other.

In Sri Lanka, Burma and elsewhere in this world, the words of the Buddha are abused and grotesquely perverted.

And we wait, helpless. With our joss sticks and samanpichcha flowers, we light our clay oil lamps to join our hands and say a silent prayer for the birth of the Bodhisattva.

                                                                                                                   

An Ode to Colombo

Colombo is the City I call home, it’s where I was born, where I grew up and went to school.  The city has endured everything from decades of colonization, an ethnic pogrom, a youth insurrection, claymore bombs, suicide attacks and a bloodcurdling tsunami. But underneath all of that bump-da-bump mess, Colombo remains a beautiful, (relatively) clean, safe and welcoming city. Last week, my friend Ama and I accompanied Helen, our friend and fellow Global Changemaker from Hong Kong and two of her friends around Colombo. This gave Ama and I a unique opportunity to rediscover the city for what it has become.

 In Galle Face miniature boats the size of Cigarette boxes sail away at the cocoa brown horizon. The sun was burying its head in the sea and its many colours were dissolving in the electric blue ocean. The salty breeze blew across our chests. Turquoise sea waves crashed the feet of overzealous youngsters at the shore under the vigilant eyes of lifeguards in scarlet red t-shirts.  Every inch of the parking lot was covered with vehicles and the CMC lady was busy issuing yellow parking tickets. In a country where public displays of affection are otherwise frowned at, under big brightly colored umbrellas, couples: young and old, were love cuddling and merrymaking.  

Both Colombo’s richest and the poorest are seen at Galle face. Those living in the luxurious suites of star class hotels opposite the Galle Face Green come there for their evening jog, snobbish executives that sit in lush boardrooms of Colombo’s sky rise buildings that house big business conglomerates come there to break free from their rat-race lifestyles and Colombo’s biggest socialites come there after their decadent high teas and charity galas at Galle Face Hotel. Moreover, those from the slum areas in Fort and around Beira Lake that live the stark reality of abject poverty come there for their daily wash, vendors come there to sell various delicacies and earn their living while street children rummage through rubbish bins to find leftover food. Galle face was where the two worlds met. Galle face is full of vendors that sell all kinds of goodies: popcorn, isso wadey (deep fried shrimp fritter), inflatable toys: kadala thel dala (stir fried chickpeas), green gram, souvenirs, manioc chips, sweet corn, bombai motai (the local substitute for candy floss), king coconut: everything. 

The Sun Set at Beira Lake is beautiful: orange, yellow and purple.  During the colonial era of the Portuguese, and the English the lake was used to transport goods within the city. The Gangarama which is an eclectic mix of Sri Lankan, Thai, Indian, and Chinese architecture; is an architectural personification of what Buddhism is all about: spirituality, tranquil calmness and inner peace. 

At the Independence Square the Statue of D.S. Senanayake, the Father of the Sri Lankan Nation and the First Prime Minister of the Dominion of Ceylon condescendingly looks on. The Independence Square houses the Independence Memorial Hall: the national monument built for commemoration of the independence of Sri Lanka from the British rule with the establishment of Dominion of Ceylon on February 4, 1948. The monument was built at the location where the formal ceremony marking the start of self-rule.

What’s more? Colombo is growing up. Public displays of affection don’t drop jaws, short skirts don’t turn heads and Colombo doesn’t care if you’re Sinhalese, Tamil, and Muslim, black, white or yellow.  Porches and defenders aren’t rare sites anymore. And there has been a steady decrease in beggars. People are learning: cars stop at junctions till traffic lights turn from red to orange to green. More often than not, pedestrians cross roads at zebra crossings, drivers gladly make way for them and tuk tuks have meters. But still, unlike large metropolitan cities, most people you bump into still greet you with a smile, and if you want to know directions they will always be half a dozen people offering to help you.

The roads around Diyawanna, and Parliament grounds are dashing. People who were hitherto stuck at households watching dubbed Indian soap operas are now coming out during the weekends. The sporty and the health conscious are jogging in newly constructed walkways, newlyweds are going on picnics at parliaments grounds and kids fly kites at Galleface Green.  Colombo is the ‘concrete jungle where dreams are made of.’

Bodu Bala Sena; why this Kolaveri?

Five years ago, on a day like today, 7 students of my school: D.S. Senanayake College and their baseball coach were killed at a suicide attack at the Fort Railway Station in Colombo.  3^rd February 2008 was also a Sunday. The students were returning back home having finished their club matches in Kandy.  While the city was readying itself for the 60^th Independence Day Celebrations, a female suicide bomber of the Black Tigers Wing of the LTTE; slowly got down from the train and blasted herself during rush hour on Platform 3.

D.S. is a school where students of different ethnicities and faiths study together: in all three media of instruction: Sinhalese, Tamil and English. Among those killed, was Rajarathnam: a Tamil medium student. It’s not pleasant to recall such, bloodcurdling memories, but when one sees the kind of ethno-centric hatred exhibited by certain individuals in the recent past; it should, perhaps help to recall the repercussions of similar acts by our previous generations. Those students didn't die for a war they started. Many of them wouldn't have been born when mobs ransacked Tamil households, and killed innocents in broad day light:  but decades later, they paid the price for the acts of stupidity committed generations ago.

This anti-Muslim hatred spread in the name of chest beating, flag-waving, drum-banging, stone-throwing nationalism is not in the name of the moderate Sinhalese Buddhist, and is certainly not in the name of the Buddha. Nor is it remotely in line with the teachings of the Buddha. Ironically however, those expected to preach us these very teachings, don’t seem to understand this. Buddhism is an accepting religion; perhaps the most tolerant of religions. In the Karaniya Metta Sutta the Buddha said ‘Sukhino va khemino hontu sabbe satta bhavantu sukhi-tatta’ May all beings be happy and secure. May all beings have happy minds;  In the lines that followed, He added that this applied to all human being without exception, weak or strong, long, large, middling, short, subtle …’’ Sinhalese or otherwise, Buddhist or otherwise.

In the recent past, we saw attempts by certain factions of society to demand Sinhalese Buddhists to boycott Halal food in protest of a Muslim conspiracy, reproduce double quickly in the face of the numerical rise of Muslim nationals, picket Muslim businesses in the light of alleged unethical practices etc… Surprising yet, is the large amount of racist/anti-Muslim content posted on Facebook and other social networking sites. Certain explicitly anti-Muslim pages and groups, the likes of ‘Allah gey ammata enna kiyapiya’ and ‘Helayani Nagitiyawu’ have thousands of fans regularly posting outrageously anti-Muslim, racist content. We need to leave politics aside respond to these sternly, and take action against the perpetrators. Silence condones. Inaction in the face of wrongdoing is to take the side of evil.

In a country that boasts of ethnic diversity; the Muslim community remains largely separated: residing in separate electoral districts. Most children attend segregated schools, or schools that enroll only students of a particular ethnic group or study in a particular language. Human beings are always afraid or someone or something that is different. Perhaps the root cause for this issue is ignorance. Rarely does one find someone with a Muslim friend, co-worker or neighbour at these protests.  I have many Muslim friends and once you know someone in person, it’s easy to see through the racial profiles and stereotypical labels that we’ve been asked to believe. It’s also easy to comprehend that there is no organized Muslim conspiracy to take over our women, land, religion and eventually, country. 

Global Changemakers 2012

A Sri Lankan Youth's Perspective on COP 18a

Sri Lankan Youth at COP 18

the STD test

My friend messages me. He tells me that he thinks he might be showing symptoms for STDs. I call him and ask him what happened. He tells me a story. For the next 10 minutes or so I call him an idiot and bash him.  Just a few minutes later, I realize I am not helping and I tell him that he needs to get tested, and the obsessive compulsiveness in me tells me I should get tested with him. After all it’ll make a good column entry.

For all intents and purposes, let’s call my friend Tehan.

That night I ran a Google search about getting tested for STDs in Sri Lanka. The search results didn’t prove to be that helpful. There was a National STD/Aids Control Programme website which only had various statistics but no site gave details about procedure of getting tested.

The next day I went to Tehan’s place and asked him to make a call to the helpline of a leading private hospital in Colombo. Tehan turned the loudspeaker on as the phone rang. A receptionist (with a fake accent); probably in her early thirties, answered. ‘Hi I want to get tested for STDs, can I know the procedure please?’ The receptionist asks for his age, and asks if he thinks he has any symptoms. She laughed as Tehan described the symptoms. Tehan and I exchange a look. There is a mocking sort of voice in her voice when she replies that he will first need to consult a specialist at the OPD. Tehan says he will do that tomorrow, thanks her and hangs up.  Tehan tells me that he’s broke and says that he’ll do it after he gets paid at the end of the month. I tell him we can’t delay these things and that I will pay for him. After all, in a country that boasts of affordable health care for all, how expensive could a simple medical consultation be?

The next morning Tehan and I visit the hospital and made a consultation with a doctor in the OPD. The cashier gave an awkward smile as Tehan told him the purpose. As we leave she whispered something in the ears of her colleague and they both giggle. We sit in the queue and at least 25 minutes later, the nurse calls out ‘Mr. Gunawardena.’ We enter the consultation room and Tehan sits down next to the doctor, I keep standing. The doctor is a lady of at least 60 years. She looks up and asks Tehan what the problem is. Tehan says he wants to get tested for STDs and describes the symptoms. The doctor shrugs and looks at us from head to toe, first Tehan, then me. Next she bombards him with a series of questions. What’s your name? Where do you live? How old are you? Still studying, ah? Tehan is taken aback, but gives answers to each of her questions matter-of-factly. ‘Tehan’, ‘Nugegoda’, ‘21’, and ‘yes still studying’.  You better consult a male doctor for this.’  She recommends a doctor and we are asked to come and see him at 6.15 in the evening. We are refunded the OPD consultation fee. We returned in the evening at 6.20. We are number 7. The doctor is still not there. He comes 35 minutes later, at 6.55. We wait for another 40 minutes or so, as he consults the 6 patients before us.  It’s time for us to go in. This time, the doctor seems laid back and complacent as Tehan described him his worry. Tehan is prescribed some medication, and if they don’t work, he is asked to follow several tests.

Let's face it- young people are sexual. Once upon a time, sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) were funny. But when someone you know may have contracted it’s far removed from the humour of secondary school days. Even today, STDs are spoken about in hush-hush tones; told only after you swore on your grandmother’s grave to keep the secret.  What’s worse is when those who are there to help patients, such as doctors, nurses, and sometimes one’s friends and family, too judge you or stigmatize.

For Tehan’s test results and more, keep reading the Activist.

Originally published on the Nation:

Viru Daru, Indian Youth Delegation Visit

They stood tall for Humanity

Not seeing is Believing.

Adam and Steve, what's their story ?

On the 26th of July, last week, along with a few friends I went to see a mutual friend perform in a production titled ‘If You Promise Not to Tell’: a Performance of untold stories from the lives of queer Sri Lankan men. The event was hosted by the Sakhi Collaboration. ‘If You Promise Not to Tell’ was the outcome of a series of workshops conducted as part of the PhD thesis of Matt Tyne, a student of Performance Studies at the University of Sydney. Those partaking at the workshops had been asked to narrate their experiences and what we saw come alive at the British School Auditorium were dramatic renditions of some of these stories. From mothers that force their sons to be attracted to girls because they need answers to the questions posed by society, and confessions of once-closeted gay men; the production was an expedition in pursuit of what it means to be normal and how trying to be 'normal' might actually equate to living a lie. The monologues outlined the fear of rejection and the dire need for acceptance in one’s personal struggle for self identification.

The performance was followed by a discussion engaging the audience, and during the discussion one question that I asked some of the actors was if they've felt like they had to give up their faith or religion in order to be gay. Following the performance, Jude Perera, one of the young actors spoke to me of his own experience of oscillating between what was taught to him all his life and his sexual orientation.  

This is his story:

“Everything was perfect in my devout Christian world. I grew up in a family where church was a daily part of our lives, and God was the center of the universe. God, church and the bible: three things I knew I couldn't do without, and that was besides being a youth leader in my teens, a choir member and an upstanding do-good-er in the eyes of the church community. My life revolved around my church and my beliefs, and the friends and extended family I found because of them. Everything was perfect- until I started being attracted to boys. The three things I based my life upon suddenly took a violent turn in my life.

My same sex attraction was the most natural thing to me; as puberty hit, I started noticing boys just the way other boys started noticing girls. It was a strange and confusing time because it seemed to me I was the only one I knew who was doing so. I found many reasons and justifications wherever I looked, but the one place I sought answers and validation only had condemnation and guilt to give me. I remember being barely fourteen and sitting with a mentor and an immediate leader in my church, being accused of being a homosexual, how I was condemned to an eternity of hell (justified by scripture from the bible) if I didn’t change my way of thinking and behavior, if not for me for the sake of my family’s reputation and standing in society and in the church.

I was cornered. I was naïve and I was taught that life leads you to many burdens one must learn to bear. This was my cross that I would slog and slave on alone for the coming years; Living my life like a prisoner, my every action under close scrutiny, my every thought up for discussion, all in aid of a recovery to a widely acceptable conformity I knew deep in my heart was just not possible. I constantly wondered how the stories I’d read and heard about God as a child were such lies. If God was a father who loved unconditionally, why did his self-appointed leaders paint him to be a bipolar tyrant who wanted to punish me for something I have very little choice over? I loved God, but his people and the self-serving doctrine they promoted was not for me.

Looking back, leaving that church was the best thing I had done. I left a prison, obstinate people and a doctrine that refused to accept me into a world of friends and family that reaffirmed my faith in God, and the Bible. I found two people and a church quite by chance that told me that my sexuality doesn't get in the way of the love of God. These two people, this church and what they stood for, was the Grace of God; something Jesus died to make sure was mine, something that no conservative Christian could take away from me. I like to think of what my life would've been like had I heard of what they’d had to say at the tender age of fourteen. A message of love based on the same book that’s been used to condemn me all my life. They confirmed what I always knew about God as a kid, I’ve come to learn all of those things to be true, that God loves me, cares for me, and blesses me regardless of my sexuality.

Today I am proud to say, I am a believer of God who happens to be Gay. I belong to a church and its community and I am an integral part of it. I am loved and cherished for who I am, supported and encouraged in all my endeavors regarding my faith and my life. I heal the sick in the name of Jesus, I pray and prophesy and perform miracles on a regular basis. I live a life that is carefree and enjoyable, I also live by a standard of holiness that is quite unheard of for a homosexual in this day and age, but that is my personal choice and I do so willingly. But most of all, I have all of this because I have accepted the Grace of God, that allows me to love God and be loved by Him unconditionally.”

Originally published on the Nation: 

Empowering Indigenous Voices

The FUTA, is Badass. Rants of an undergraduate.